Journal prompts
20 journal prompts for loneliness
Being alone and feeling alone are two different things. These questions look at both, and at what you would want the people around you to know.
Being alone and feeling alone come apart in both directions. People are lonely in full rooms and perfectly content by themselves for weeks. These questions keep the two apart, because the useful answer depends on which one you are actually dealing with.
The first half is about how you are socially and what you do with your own company. The middle turns outward, to the people you would want to see, the connections that mattered most, and the thing you wish others knew about you. Number ten is a sentence to finish rather than a question to answer, and it is often the one that produces something you were not expecting. The end is gentler and more practical. None of this is about becoming more sociable. Some of the most useful answers here are about wanting fewer people and better time with them.
A note on timing. These are easier to answer on a reasonable day than a bad one, and they are more useful then too. Written in the middle of a difficult evening they tend to record the mood rather than the situation. If today is that evening, take the first two and leave the rest.
The prompts
How would you describe yourself socially?
Be to the point. A few keywords or sentences are usually enough to describe your social "core" — and above all, be honest.
What is your favourite thing to do when you are alone?
Often social pressure or a lack of time can prevent us from doing what we like. However, the things we enjoy doing are often automatic stress reducers. This includes our hobbies, favorite TV shows, and physical exercises we enjoy. Try to learn if you have enough opportunities to do the things you enjoy the most.
If you feel cut off from the people or activities that give you energy, what could help, and where could you find support?
Try to quantify and give a reason for the isolation. Perhaps it's possible to recover a lost connection with these activities or people.
How could you put more energy into your relationships?
'Enough' can differ from person to person. What does enough mean to you at this point in time?
Who would you really love to visit if you could visit anyone?
It doesn't have to be someone you know, but do try to think about the why behind your visit.
If you could pick someone from school or work to hang out with, who would that be and why?
A person may pop into your mind straight away, but take your time. If you could pick one of your friends, why would you want to be with that specific person at this time?
Have you felt an intimate connection with someone or something this past week?
Intimate can be defined differently. If you have not, try to find a friendly connection. If you have not felt any connection, it may be worth gently reflecting on this.
Can you describe the most intense connection you ever felt with someone?
If there isn't one yet, imagine one. How might that connection feel for you?
Who is the most important person in your life?
This question can be easily repeated as life evolves. Remember that the most important person (right now) doesn't have to be the most important person overall. As we grow up, we naturally rely on our caregivers. While as we grow older, we might focus more on friends, colleagues, and our partners.
Finish this sentence: I really wish others knew about me that …
It's okay to have privacy and keep things to yourself. Sometimes, though, you're putting off telling a secret you actually wish would come out. Once the word is out, you may well feel a sense of relief. So shout it from the rooftops when you're ready — or on a long walk through the woods or along the beach, where nobody can hear you.
Do you care what others think about you?
While reflecting on this question, feel free to answer both yes and no and give examples. Perhaps you care in one area but couldn't care less in others. Try to answer this one with a recent example.
What would be the benefits of being an outgoing person?
Outgoing people tend to be really responsive and get their energy from outside sources. Everyone is always a mixture of introvert and extrovert. On the other end of the scale, introverted people get energy from within themselves.
When did you last do something for someone and expect nothing in return?
A small act for you can be huge for someone else, especially when you help someone in need. We don't always know the whole story. Actually, we almost never do.
When did you last put someone else's needs above your own?
Name a small or large act; even something small works here. How did it make you feel? Did you get recognition for your act? This last part is just as important; in hindsight, would this have changed your behavior?
What activities away from home do you really enjoy?
Name preferably activities you have already experienced at least once and enjoyed. Go with the first thing that comes to mind.
Can you name one place you'd really love to visit this week?
Feel free to think outside the box on this one. What attracts you to this location, and what might be holding you back?
How do you recover from a period of feeling sad?
It can help to name your feelings step by step as you work on feeling better. Every little step counts.
How could you avoid negative thoughts before going to bed?
Try to write down your thoughts and reflect on those. Chances are you'll sleep better for it.
Can you describe your happy place?
Don't have one? Lucky you! This is your time to pretend and draw one from scratch. This is the place you will go to when you are feeling down and in need of some "me" time.
How could you live more true to yourself?
Thinking about yourself can feel confronting, but even a small adjustment can nudge you in the right direction.
Prompts that keep your answers
These lists are yours to use anywhere, and a notebook works perfectly well. If you would rather the questions came to you, and kept every answer in one place so you can read them back later, that is what Luci does. Over 600 prompts across twenty topics, and when a question comes round again it shows you what you said last time.
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